Nothing much, just the normal shite
I had planned on writing a little something for Father's Day. I still will. Just not tonight. It is late and Roman just refused to go to sleep tonight. I'm pooped from the toddler wrangling.
But I'll give you a run down of my day, just for shits and gigs.
~On Truman's first walk of the morning, I stumbled upon three of my downstairs neighbors' movers sleeping off their drunk from the evening prior in the grass where Truman (and this lady) poops. The stink of soju at that ungodly hour of the morning (9am) made me gag and startled them awake. As they sat up, Truman began barking at them, scaring them half out of their wits.
~When I walked Truman for the second time this morning, he attacked another dog. A Hungarian Vizsla. Fortunately, he didn't get his face ripped off for it. But that dumb ass went after her again. And again. He's a shit. Just for that, he's going to the kennel without heart worm tablets (okay, so he'll only be a week late and that's not late enough to put him in any real danger anyway -- but he doesn't have to know that!).
~I gave serious consideration to eating Truman for lunch. Instead I told my housekeeper to forget about cleaning and come to lunch with me instead. We gorged ourselves at the Navy Club. Then I came home to a house still dirty. Thankfully, we're leaving for Chicago so I just don't care.
~While piling up my groceries at the check out, I realized I had forgotten to get diapers (man, I hate disposable diapers!) and had to put all my stuff back in my cart. I must have been cursing under my breath while I did this because the rather sweet looking Korean check out lady seemed very concerned and asked if I was going to be alright. I barked "DIAPERS!" at her and stormed off.
~When I returned to check out, I was escorted to an awaiting checker in the 15 items or less line. I had more than 15 items, but I think the management thought I was about to blow some sort of mental gasket. I was so scared that someone with less than 15 items was going to come behind me and bitch me out, that I kept saying over and over again, in a rather loud voice, "They told me to come here. I don't know why. I have a cart full. But they told me to come here." I'm now waiting for someone to contact me from the psychiatric department of the hospital. I'm sure I've been reported.
~I nuked up fish sticks for my kids' dinner that made my whole house smell like an old, diseased pussy. And no, I don't mean a cat. I'm gonna have to burn some serious incense tomorrow.
And I think I will leave you on that note tonight. I'm off to go dream of geriatric lesbians. Good night.
But I'll give you a run down of my day, just for shits and gigs.
~On Truman's first walk of the morning, I stumbled upon three of my downstairs neighbors' movers sleeping off their drunk from the evening prior in the grass where Truman (and this lady) poops. The stink of soju at that ungodly hour of the morning (9am) made me gag and startled them awake. As they sat up, Truman began barking at them, scaring them half out of their wits.
~When I walked Truman for the second time this morning, he attacked another dog. A Hungarian Vizsla. Fortunately, he didn't get his face ripped off for it. But that dumb ass went after her again. And again. He's a shit. Just for that, he's going to the kennel without heart worm tablets (okay, so he'll only be a week late and that's not late enough to put him in any real danger anyway -- but he doesn't have to know that!).
~I gave serious consideration to eating Truman for lunch. Instead I told my housekeeper to forget about cleaning and come to lunch with me instead. We gorged ourselves at the Navy Club. Then I came home to a house still dirty. Thankfully, we're leaving for Chicago so I just don't care.
~While piling up my groceries at the check out, I realized I had forgotten to get diapers (man, I hate disposable diapers!) and had to put all my stuff back in my cart. I must have been cursing under my breath while I did this because the rather sweet looking Korean check out lady seemed very concerned and asked if I was going to be alright. I barked "DIAPERS!" at her and stormed off.
~When I returned to check out, I was escorted to an awaiting checker in the 15 items or less line. I had more than 15 items, but I think the management thought I was about to blow some sort of mental gasket. I was so scared that someone with less than 15 items was going to come behind me and bitch me out, that I kept saying over and over again, in a rather loud voice, "They told me to come here. I don't know why. I have a cart full. But they told me to come here." I'm now waiting for someone to contact me from the psychiatric department of the hospital. I'm sure I've been reported.
~I nuked up fish sticks for my kids' dinner that made my whole house smell like an old, diseased pussy. And no, I don't mean a cat. I'm gonna have to burn some serious incense tomorrow.
And I think I will leave you on that note tonight. I'm off to go dream of geriatric lesbians. Good night.
posted by The Histrionics of a Fat Housewife at 7:41 AM
6 Comments:
I've had a senior citizen (ok, old cranky ass man) yell at me because I had too many items in '15 or less' check-out line. The sign was hidden by those gd helium balloons they put up there. He was AHEAD of me and still raised a stink. The people behind me didn't say a word because I think they knew I was on the verge of tears. (I was on my lunch hour and stressed out.) The manager came over and told me it was fine and to just stay where I was. What an ass this old man was!
omg...could i laugh any harder at 8:16 in the flippin' morning?
you just kill me and seriously, if you want, or know anyone who would, dog for lunch, call me cuz i have a couple of dumb ass labradors that could use some schooling.
LMAO at old diseased pussy and geriatric lesbians. I love you, lol.
heh. cyber pats Truman for scaring the crap out of the neighbours.
oh I barked out a laugh at you barking "DIAPERS!" at the korean lady. thank bugger I live alone.
commands myself NOT to think about a geriatric stinky puss.
Very wierd I did dream of Lesbians last night. But then I had to get up for work and it cut my dream off and I was was upset. Why? Don't ask me
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