There's Gotta be an Easier Way to Get Food in Our House -- Part I

I know I've already discussed my intense dislike of shopping with children in tow. But for the sake of entertainment, let's review using yesterday as a prime example.

Yesterday morning began as any morning does around here: Roman awoke at the crack of dark and I tried to persuade him into sleeping a little bit later. My method is to lead by example. While he lays there and babbles and pulls out my hair strand by strand, I doze in and out of an unfulfilling sleep. What finally finally woke me up on this particular morning was a rather loud thud followed by a scared little boy's cry for his mama. Yes, Roman is crawling now and crawled right out of the bed, did a double flip (I can only speculate on how he accomplished this) and landed flat on his face.

Good morning.

Reilly Kate woke up soon after and we proceeded downstairs for breakfast. Much like Old Mother Hubbard, I went to my cupboard to give my poor girl some milk. When I got there, the cupboard was bare and so the poor girl asked for some juice. No juice. Toast? No bread. Pancakes? No mix. Eggs? None. Nothing. My poor girl got some dry Cheerios, an apple, and water. She wasn't happy.

Time to go to the grocery store. I began getting the kids and myself ready. Never mind the fact that it was still just 6-ish and the store wouldn't open for another three hours. I know how these things work and if I start the preparations early, I'll get to leave early. No distractions. Stay focused on the goal. Heck, I figured, we'd be back for lunch and then do an afternoon pool break. What a wonderful day I had planned.

Three loads of laundry, two baths, and a early morning nap followed by a major poopy blow out later, we were loaded up into the van and ready to go. It was ten o'clock.

As I drove through our pristine, brand new neighborhood I contemplate the recent rash of burglaries that is forcing us all to batten down the hatches. This leads me to think about our own home and whether I actually accomplished the battening. I couldn't remember if I'd hit the garage door button. I racked my brain but came up blank. I turned the van around to make sure.

Of course, the garage door was closed and I'd just made an extra turn around for nothing. Better safe than sorry, though. The time was then 10:05.

I head out of our development a little more hurried, trying to make up for those lost five minutes. I sped up to three times the legal limit of 5 mph and out of no where something white hits my windshield. I immediately thought it was a bird, but as I peered through it to view the road, I see that it is not a bird but a pair of panties. Reilly Kate's panties. When I was doing laundry I had put a pair on the hood of the van so as to remember to bring a spare pair for accidents. I had forgotten all about them and with the additional speed, they flew off.

I rolled down the window and turned the windshield wipers on to try to catch them while driving. It didn't work. I'm no catcher. They flew off and landed in the middle of the entrance to our complex. I turned the van around and doubled back to pick up the panties.

With panties in hand, we were finally on the road. The clock read 10:12. I laughed to myself that is had taken me almost 15 minutes to get out of my housing development. I laughed until I realized that I'd left my debit card and the grocery list sitting on the kitchen counter. For the THIRD time, I pulled the van around and back we went. This time a groundskeeper stopped weedwacking and waved at me. I'm certain that the construction crew working on the last of the new houses must have thought I was lost. I was frustrated and feeling foolish.

Back at the house, I left the car running and the kids safely buckled in their carseats as I popped in and grabbed the card and list. Time of departure was now 10:18.

I put the van into reverse and then I heard, "Mama!! I need my donkey!"

Without uttering a word, I put it back into park, ran inside and upstairs into Reilly Kate's room, grabbed her donkey and ran back down. I handed her the donkey, put the van back in reverse and sarcastically asked, "Is there ANYTHING else we need before we go to the store?"

"My sun gasses," (not a typo, that's how she says it, "sungasses") Reilly Kate replied quite matter of factly. And since I had asked, there was no way I could have said no to her. Back in park went the van. Back inside went I. I grabbed sunglasses and decided to make a quick check around the house for any other item that just might be needed. Nope. I was confident this time. We were going to be on our way.

And we were. The time was now 10:24. Almost a full 4 hours from when I started getting us ready to leave the house. Not bad, eh?