All I want for Christmas is a Body Cast

I've come to the realization that in order for me to get a proper vacation (that is one that includes actual rest and relaxation) I will need a full body cast.

How I plan on acquiring said cast is still in the works, but I'm thinking that a Christmas ski trip might be my answer. I'll have to jump off the ski lift, of course. And it'll have to be on the first trip up the mountain. If I wait at all, I run the risk of Mike somehow legitimately injuring himself while skiing, blowing all chances of any relaxation for myself.

With my luck, however, the doctor will crook my arms for baby holding, leave my hands free so I can wipe snotty noses and poopy behinds, and cast around my nipples so the baby can still nurse. Mike would have to cook meaning we'd be eating grilled meat and over nuked tv dinners. Reilly Kate would use me as a jungle gym and Roman would get slobber deep into my cast. The laundry would pile up so high that I wouldn't be able to see the television and I'd probably gain 20 pounds.

On second thought, I think I'll just shave my head and join the Hare Krishnas.