There's No Place like Home

We're back from our vacation. Who would have thought that our attempt to unwind would turn so stressful?

Here's a brief run down of events:

We arrived on the tiny island of Kauai, just north of our own little, tropical island, and found ourselves in an entirely different climate. It was cold and raining. Good thing I packed ONE inclimate weather outfit per child. None for the Mom and Dad, however. We froze our asses off.

This cold rain lasted the first three days of our trip. Not to be outdone by the weather, we braved the elements and forged on with a boatride to the Fern Grotto and a round of golf. On the fourth day we went to the beach to snorkel despite the cloudy, somewhat misty weather. Fun, fish, coral, scenery. A three quarter mile walk barefoot on hot sand carrying two children, food enough for a small, third world country, and just as many changes of clothes as Britney goes through in one of her shows. It was almost paradise. All that was missing was the sun.

Yet while we missed the sun due to the fact that it was kept well hidden behind the clouds, the sun found a way to touch us nonetheless. You see, clouds are not only good for the sun to hide behind, but they act as a magnifier for the sun's burning rays. My whiter than driven snow children, slathered in an SPF50 reapplied hourly, burned on that cool, cloudy day in Kauai. Doesn't it sound like the punch line of a very bad joke?

Wait. It gets worse.

The next day my dear husband, a devoted father who enjoys giving his daughter horsey back rides in spite of his bad back and who played the part of pack mule for our burning sand trek on the beach, awoke with a stiff and sore back. No big deal, we thought. Just take it easy for the day. We went golfing and the only thing he drove was the cart. When he went to bed, he was sure he'd wake up feeling much better.

And he did. He felt great. We spent a nice, relaxing day at the pool where he went in the jacuzzi and soaked his formerly sore back. The weather had turned bright and shiny and warm. All felt right with the world. Until....

The day of our departure. The pain in his back slipped down and over. It had gone from his spine to his muscles in the form of severe spasms. He was in incredible pain. I packed us up and lugged us out. And when our plane touched down here, on home sweet home, we went straight to the ER.

Since then he's gotten morphine and other fun pharmaceuticals. We've taken him back to the ER twice and tomorrow we'll be going again. He cannot even walk to the bathroom. At this point, there seems to be no end in sight.

All this and a vacation, too. If I get any more relaxed, someone is gonna mistake me for a day trader on Wall Street.