A Pox on Their Houses

It's been a busy week around here.  Hard to imagine, huh?  Reilly Kate starts school in a couple weeks at a cooperative preschool.  Since no one wanted to be group leader for her class, guess who volunteered.  Yep.  Me.  Plus, I'm trying to get all our paperwork together for her admission.  You wouldn't believe the amount of paperwork to simply get my daughter in a preschool.  And, it seems, I will be getting her the varicella (chicken pox) vaccine tomorrow morning, much to my sorrow.
 
You see, this silly little island state has decided to require the varicella vaccine.  In most states it is optional.  I'd really rather her not get the varicella vaccine.  I would much prefer she just get the chicken pox the old fashioned way.  I fully intended to have her vaccinated for it by the age of ten had she not contracted the pox.  Sadly, though, it looks like "pox parties" are a thing of the past. 
 
I actually called the state's immunizations department and talked to a very nice, cheerful woman.  She informed me that had I not had Reilly Kate vaccinated against anything, then I could get an exemption.  But since I only wanted an exemption for a shot that was, until recently, optional, I was out of luck.
 
"Excuse me," I sputtered.  "Do you mean that since I had my daughter immunized for the deadly diseases, the diseases that have caused widespread death, disability, and disfigurment, but do not wish to have her immunized for a fairly benign childhood disease with a vaccine whose efficacy is questionable, then I am up the proverbial creek?"
 
"I'm sorry?  A creek?"  she questioned.
 
"I'll rephrase.  She cannot go to school unless she is completely immunized.  Or completely NOT immunized.  Is that correct?"
 
"That's correct."
 
I was stunned.  What the hell kind of Catch 22 bullshit is that?  This immunizations topic is really starting to burn me up.
 
For those of you that don't know, there is a growing movement amongst middle class Americans to NOT vaccinate children.  I'm sure to some of you who lived in fear of polio each summer during your childhood, that seems outrageous and unbelievable.  But I assure you it is out there and growing.
 
Growing thanks to a lot of baseless information poisoning the internet. I swear, I am gonna start a website about the cancer causing agents of red clothing and see what kind of following I get (especially from the Mothering.com crowd -- and before you flame me for that I subscribe and visit those boards so I'm amongst them). I can hear it now, "Oh, I don't allow my kids to wear red. Too risky. We stick with only neutral colors dyed with sweet potatoes and red dirt on hand-picked organic cotton woven by underprivileged mothers in Botswana. In the winter, I do allow my children the occasional wool sweater made from sheep who live in the Waldorf-Astoria and dine on organic grasses flown in daily from Scotland."
 
"Really?  Well, we've been red-free now for five years.  Since then our headaches have cleared up and my son no longer experiences those eye twitches that plagued him for so long.   I don't allow any red in my house whatsoever.  Not even blood.  We do all our bleeding outside, in our mulch pile.  It's so much cleaner.  But let me just suggest you do some reading on organic grasses grown in Scotland.  They're full of lead.  The soil in Scotland is so contaminated with lead that the sheep eating the grass are currently being tested for developmental delays."
 
"[Gasp]  I had no idea.  I have to go and google that.  Ciao."
 
Barf.  There's a culture of perfect parenting out there that is so obsessed they are no longer thinking clearly.  Any ninny can go and post an internet site and blather on and on about whatever they choose, using real information or stuff they yanked out the pure, blue sky.  It's dangerous.  And even more dangerous are those that are too lazy to do the real research for themselves.  Parents are just hopping on the internet and basing their parental decisions on cyber junk floating around.
 
Now, I'm not saying that there is not risk involved with vaccinations.  There are.  Of course.  Real dangers.  But if you put your kids in a car driving 50 miles per hour, there's danger.  If you let your kids ride a bike, there's danger.  Hell, I remember reading about an American child living in Japan who fell while walking down the street, hit his head on the curb and died.  I'm sure somewhere there are parents pressuring government officials to demolish curbs. 
 
I agonized over giving my precious children these shots.  I agonized, prayed, sweated, and cried for days.  And yet, I did it.  Why?  Because it is a social contract we all must abide by.  Just like when the traffic signals go out and everyone treats the intersection like a stop sign.  It's a social contract.  You stop.  Then I stop.  This way we don't have a collision.  See? 
 
What I don't understand is why these parents who are not getting their kids immunized are being allowed to put these kids in schools.  Why should I subject my children to the hazards of vaccinations just to have the Smith family refuse and potentially expose my kids to outbreaks?   It is arrogant and classist.  ""Oh, not my child. Let them, those poor people living in unsanitary conditions vaccinate their children.  But I won't do mine."  Blech. 
 
Ya know, if you don't want to vaccinate your kids, fine.  Go buy yourself a nice plot in the 100 Acre Wood and live there amongst other potential lepers and don't come out.  Stay there and grow your own food and drink rainwater and make breastmilk cottage cheese.   Just don't contaminate my kids, thankyouverymuch.
 
Unless you happen to have an outbreak of the chicken pox.  Then could you give me call?