Our Patriotic Sons
It's been a pretty crappy day. My van broke down and needed a new starter. Then Mike was in a car accident that pretty much totaled our convertible (yes, he's okay). Like I said, it's been a pretty crappy day.
But I heard something on the radio (NPR) this morning, something that is making me appreciate today. The piece was entitled Remembering Lt. Brian Smith (click on that link and you can listen to it). After 9-11, a 30 year old lawyer from Austin, Texas joined the military, leaving his lucrative career and wife behind. He was killed last week. He was checking the tracks on his tank when he lifted his arm and a sniper shot him in the one spot that the bullet proof vest didn't protect him -- under his arm. As his father said, "He had everything to lose." And it seems, he lost it all.
Like a toned down Pat Tillman, Brian Smith truly put his patriotism on his chest. He walked his talk. He carried the torch. He sacrificed. It amazes me how many in my generation are unwilling to do anything more than flap their gums. They've got opinions, but aren't even motivated enough to vote. It seems Brian Smith was different. Although, I never even knew he walked the earth until he no longer did, my heart seems a little empty with the knowledge of his passing. I will think of him over the years. I won't forget him. He left his mark.
As a mother, my heart just breaks. I cannot imagine the heartache his mother must be feeling. Just trying to brings a lump to my throat so big I cannot swallow it down. I read this quote from his dad on a message board.
"We were lucky enough to love him for 30 years, and I lived long enough to see the man he grew up to become," William Smith said. "I'm glad I did ... now I have the rest of my life to miss him."
I'm the wife of a soldier. The thought of my husband going off to war terrifies me. It is something that we, military wives, must visualize, plan for, and cope with. We've done the funeral plans and insurance papers. All the what ifs have been covered, especially given these turbulent times. It knots my insides, but it's part of the job description.
The prospect of doing this with my son, however, grips me deeply from within, making my head spin so fast I can hear insanity rattling around. Last week, my brother Darrell left for Iraq. His mother, my stepmother, told me that planning his funeral was "just unnatural. A mother shouldn't have to sit down with her son and plan his funeral." Even the planning must be heart wrenching, something from which, even when he comes back to us safe and sound, she will never fully recover. Such is it to be a mother. Strong, but so very, very fragile.
As I type this, I have my sleeping son in my arms. He is safe and sound and just a wee little baby. Yet all too soon he will be a man, with wild ideas of his own. Too soon he will leave the safety of my nest to venture forth in the big bad world to be big and bad himself. So today, I will cherish him. No matter how crappy the day, I will cherish him.
And for you, Lt. Brian Smith, I will wave my flag, vote my conscience, and put Dave's Insanity Hot Sauce all over my dinner. Rest in peace.
But I heard something on the radio (NPR) this morning, something that is making me appreciate today. The piece was entitled Remembering Lt. Brian Smith (click on that link and you can listen to it). After 9-11, a 30 year old lawyer from Austin, Texas joined the military, leaving his lucrative career and wife behind. He was killed last week. He was checking the tracks on his tank when he lifted his arm and a sniper shot him in the one spot that the bullet proof vest didn't protect him -- under his arm. As his father said, "He had everything to lose." And it seems, he lost it all.
Like a toned down Pat Tillman, Brian Smith truly put his patriotism on his chest. He walked his talk. He carried the torch. He sacrificed. It amazes me how many in my generation are unwilling to do anything more than flap their gums. They've got opinions, but aren't even motivated enough to vote. It seems Brian Smith was different. Although, I never even knew he walked the earth until he no longer did, my heart seems a little empty with the knowledge of his passing. I will think of him over the years. I won't forget him. He left his mark.
As a mother, my heart just breaks. I cannot imagine the heartache his mother must be feeling. Just trying to brings a lump to my throat so big I cannot swallow it down. I read this quote from his dad on a message board.
"We were lucky enough to love him for 30 years, and I lived long enough to see the man he grew up to become," William Smith said. "I'm glad I did ... now I have the rest of my life to miss him."
I'm the wife of a soldier. The thought of my husband going off to war terrifies me. It is something that we, military wives, must visualize, plan for, and cope with. We've done the funeral plans and insurance papers. All the what ifs have been covered, especially given these turbulent times. It knots my insides, but it's part of the job description.
The prospect of doing this with my son, however, grips me deeply from within, making my head spin so fast I can hear insanity rattling around. Last week, my brother Darrell left for Iraq. His mother, my stepmother, told me that planning his funeral was "just unnatural. A mother shouldn't have to sit down with her son and plan his funeral." Even the planning must be heart wrenching, something from which, even when he comes back to us safe and sound, she will never fully recover. Such is it to be a mother. Strong, but so very, very fragile.
As I type this, I have my sleeping son in my arms. He is safe and sound and just a wee little baby. Yet all too soon he will be a man, with wild ideas of his own. Too soon he will leave the safety of my nest to venture forth in the big bad world to be big and bad himself. So today, I will cherish him. No matter how crappy the day, I will cherish him.
And for you, Lt. Brian Smith, I will wave my flag, vote my conscience, and put Dave's Insanity Hot Sauce all over my dinner. Rest in peace.
posted by The Histrionics of a Fat Housewife at 9:02 PM
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