Scene & Herd
A couple of weeks ago, while readying ourselves for swimming lessons, Reilly Kate asked me, "Can I please wear my zucchini today?"
Annoyed, irritated, and overburdened all the while running 20 minutes late, I snipped, "Your what? You're wearing your bathing suit."
"But can I wear my new one? The zucchini you bought me for Disney World. Please?"
"Whatever. Just put your suit on and get ready," replied Mama Dearest.
A few minutes later I looked up to see my gorgeous daughter in an adorable Tinkerbelle tankini.
Proudly, she said, "Don't I look good in zucchinis?"
Yes, my sweet. And I'll bet you'd look good in portabellas, too!
Later that day, though, after misbehaving while she was supposed to be doing some math problems, I took away a few toys.
With tears streaming down her face, she begged, "No, Mama! NO! Not my aerobics cube!!"
Ah, if only solving an aerobics cube would help me look better in a zucchini.
Never to be outdone by his sister... or more aptly, normally outdone by his sister, but not this time...
Roman. My sweet, sweet boy.
Today he got very angry with me for refusing his request to bring toys with us to a homeschool playdate. While I was bent over changing Iryna's diaper, he punched me several times in the buttocks. Despite the extraordinary padding I have back there, it still hurt. I turned on him and paddled his rear, then sending him off to his room (for those of you nonspankers, Good for you and keep your comments to yourself -- I too was a nonspanker once... And if you want to stay that way, just shut it or I'll send you my kids for a month and you too will no longer be a nonspanker).
A few minutes later, a teary eyed Roman emerged from his room.
"Ca-ca-can I come do-do-down now?" he whimpered.
"No. No you cannot," I yelled from high upon my Mommy throne at the bottom of the staircase. "Just who do you think you are that you hit your mother like that? Huh? Who do you think you are?!?!" I demanded.
"An asshole?" was his guess.
I had to walk away to avoid him seeing me laugh. I walked away while yelling, "Get back to your room and think about that some more."
(Okay, now you nonspankers may go ahead and think exactly what it is that I always said, "Violence begets violence." Go ahead. Think it. Think it loudly. Think it condescendingly. But don't you dare post it on here. I'll come and spank your ass if you do.)
And lastly.
A birthday picture of the sweetest baby that ever passed through these hips. She is now sleeping well, and happily in her crib. All by herself. All night long. Wish I could say that about my first two demon spawn... er... I mean, angels from heaven who still at the ages of 4 and 6 do not sleep through the night, do not sleep in their own beds, and do not sleep happily. Ever. Not that I'm crabby and sleep deprived or anything.
Anyway. Here she is in her birthday hanbok.
Annoyed, irritated, and overburdened all the while running 20 minutes late, I snipped, "Your what? You're wearing your bathing suit."
"But can I wear my new one? The zucchini you bought me for Disney World. Please?"
"Whatever. Just put your suit on and get ready," replied Mama Dearest.
A few minutes later I looked up to see my gorgeous daughter in an adorable Tinkerbelle tankini.
Proudly, she said, "Don't I look good in zucchinis?"
Yes, my sweet. And I'll bet you'd look good in portabellas, too!
Later that day, though, after misbehaving while she was supposed to be doing some math problems, I took away a few toys.
With tears streaming down her face, she begged, "No, Mama! NO! Not my aerobics cube!!"
Ah, if only solving an aerobics cube would help me look better in a zucchini.
Never to be outdone by his sister... or more aptly, normally outdone by his sister, but not this time...
Roman. My sweet, sweet boy.
Today he got very angry with me for refusing his request to bring toys with us to a homeschool playdate. While I was bent over changing Iryna's diaper, he punched me several times in the buttocks. Despite the extraordinary padding I have back there, it still hurt. I turned on him and paddled his rear, then sending him off to his room (for those of you nonspankers, Good for you and keep your comments to yourself -- I too was a nonspanker once... And if you want to stay that way, just shut it or I'll send you my kids for a month and you too will no longer be a nonspanker).
A few minutes later, a teary eyed Roman emerged from his room.
"Ca-ca-can I come do-do-down now?" he whimpered.
"No. No you cannot," I yelled from high upon my Mommy throne at the bottom of the staircase. "Just who do you think you are that you hit your mother like that? Huh? Who do you think you are?!?!" I demanded.
"An asshole?" was his guess.
I had to walk away to avoid him seeing me laugh. I walked away while yelling, "Get back to your room and think about that some more."
(Okay, now you nonspankers may go ahead and think exactly what it is that I always said, "Violence begets violence." Go ahead. Think it. Think it loudly. Think it condescendingly. But don't you dare post it on here. I'll come and spank your ass if you do.)
And lastly.
A birthday picture of the sweetest baby that ever passed through these hips. She is now sleeping well, and happily in her crib. All by herself. All night long. Wish I could say that about my first two demon spawn... er... I mean, angels from heaven who still at the ages of 4 and 6 do not sleep through the night, do not sleep in their own beds, and do not sleep happily. Ever. Not that I'm crabby and sleep deprived or anything.
Anyway. Here she is in her birthday hanbok.
posted by The Histrionics of a Fat Housewife at 9:10 PM
6 Comments:
You do know how to make a girl wet her pants, now, don't ya - lol!
Love Roman's response - ROFL!!!!
Iryna looks so beautiful.
So glad to have you posting again!
:-) Tammi
Love the picture!! Iryna is gorgeous! And you know, none of my kids sleep through the night either. Who ARE those parents and what do they do to their kids that they sleep all freakin night?
Tami, That's why I have the disclaimer about getting a pad. I also can make milk come out your nose, but wearing a pad on your nose might look crazy. Or not. Maybe give it a try.
Devon, I've tried all methods of trying to get my kids to sleep. ALL methods. And I've just decided that some are sleepers and others aren't. What I would give for those afternoon naps other people talk about, though. Imagine the peace and quiet...
Hello fat housewife. I did a google search for how to say "brush teeth" in Korean (we lived there for a while) and came across your blog. You are hilarious and your daughter and her hanbok are truly adorable! I'll have to keep this link open since I'm sure I'll never find it again. Maybe I'll close it after I read all of your comments. Or maybe I'll just save it as one of my "favorites" links. . .
ROFLMAO!! ok, so reading this post while having to pee and being 9 months pregnant - so not a good situation to be in :->
Good JoB! :)
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