Foiled Again
Where we left off, I, your poor, fat housewife, was sniffly, bitchy and without a Kitchen Aid mixer.
I am still sniffly, bitchy, and without a Kitchen Aid mixer, but there's more now. It seems someone, somewhere, some powers that be, some higher power, perhaps, is preventing me from stimulating the economy. Like some cosmic financial cock blocker is fending off my attempted stimulation.
What, you may ask, am I blathering on about? Well, I'll tell ya Ms. Impatience Pants.
I got an email from my dear friend Cristie, telling me that she read my blog post about the Kitchen Aid mixer and that Amazon had them on sale for 179.99 which was still a damn good price. My heart leapt! I began to sing. Sure, it was $30 more than the sale yesterday, but still well under $200. I began whipping up egg whites effortlessly and unattended, in my mind. I skipped on over to Amazon, with joy in my heart and my credit card on file. I was there as quickly as I could have been, stopping for nothing and... no. No, by the time I got there, they were up 20 more dollars, putting them just one penny under my 200 limit. I just couldn't do it. Not now, anyway. Times are tight and all that jazz.
So then later, I find myself at Target, rummaging through the clearanced Easter items. We had to toss out a lot of our Easter decorations due to a mouse infestation. Long story on that one that I'll take with me to my grave. Although, if bribed with love and praise, the story could be coaxed out of me. Anyway, I'm in the Easter clearance aisle and there's nothing left. Just a bunch of crap candy and a few baskets.
Clearly saddened and dejected by my failure to spend, a salesman at the electronics counter calls out to me.
"We've got a lot of items deeply reduced," he called out in a fiscally seductive tone. "Lots of floor models which give you an extra 40% off." He was killing me softly with his song.
And there, at the electronics counter I fell in love with a camcorder. It was lovely. It was tiny enough for my pocket. It had a good picture quality and didn't require any disks or memory cards or anything. Best was that it was $130 marked down to $90 and then an additional 40% for the floor model.
With joy in my heart and American Express in my hand, I told the hunka hunka burnin' sales that I'd take the darn thing. He began to ring me up and while doing so, started to take the camera off its stand to box it up. In so doing, he tested it. But it would not turn on. Then he looks to try to get it off the stand and it won't come off. I see him grab the scanner gun and scan the UPC code.
Like watching a loved one flat line, I didn't need an expert to tell me my transaction was dead. I just needed to know why.
"I'm sorry," said the man who played me, "I did everything I could. But this... this... this just isn't a camera. It is merely a display model with no working parts."
I dropped my head down to my chest and heaved a great sigh of sorrow and savings.
"I'm so sorry," he repeated. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes, there's one thing," I said. "Can you point me in the direction of the Kitchen Aid mixers."
I am still sniffly, bitchy, and without a Kitchen Aid mixer, but there's more now. It seems someone, somewhere, some powers that be, some higher power, perhaps, is preventing me from stimulating the economy. Like some cosmic financial cock blocker is fending off my attempted stimulation.
What, you may ask, am I blathering on about? Well, I'll tell ya Ms. Impatience Pants.
I got an email from my dear friend Cristie, telling me that she read my blog post about the Kitchen Aid mixer and that Amazon had them on sale for 179.99 which was still a damn good price. My heart leapt! I began to sing. Sure, it was $30 more than the sale yesterday, but still well under $200. I began whipping up egg whites effortlessly and unattended, in my mind. I skipped on over to Amazon, with joy in my heart and my credit card on file. I was there as quickly as I could have been, stopping for nothing and... no. No, by the time I got there, they were up 20 more dollars, putting them just one penny under my 200 limit. I just couldn't do it. Not now, anyway. Times are tight and all that jazz.
So then later, I find myself at Target, rummaging through the clearanced Easter items. We had to toss out a lot of our Easter decorations due to a mouse infestation. Long story on that one that I'll take with me to my grave. Although, if bribed with love and praise, the story could be coaxed out of me. Anyway, I'm in the Easter clearance aisle and there's nothing left. Just a bunch of crap candy and a few baskets.
Clearly saddened and dejected by my failure to spend, a salesman at the electronics counter calls out to me.
"We've got a lot of items deeply reduced," he called out in a fiscally seductive tone. "Lots of floor models which give you an extra 40% off." He was killing me softly with his song.
And there, at the electronics counter I fell in love with a camcorder. It was lovely. It was tiny enough for my pocket. It had a good picture quality and didn't require any disks or memory cards or anything. Best was that it was $130 marked down to $90 and then an additional 40% for the floor model.
With joy in my heart and American Express in my hand, I told the hunka hunka burnin' sales that I'd take the darn thing. He began to ring me up and while doing so, started to take the camera off its stand to box it up. In so doing, he tested it. But it would not turn on. Then he looks to try to get it off the stand and it won't come off. I see him grab the scanner gun and scan the UPC code.
Like watching a loved one flat line, I didn't need an expert to tell me my transaction was dead. I just needed to know why.
"I'm sorry," said the man who played me, "I did everything I could. But this... this... this just isn't a camera. It is merely a display model with no working parts."
I dropped my head down to my chest and heaved a great sigh of sorrow and savings.
"I'm so sorry," he repeated. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes, there's one thing," I said. "Can you point me in the direction of the Kitchen Aid mixers."
posted by The Histrionics of a Fat Housewife at 9:09 PM
2 Comments:
did you get the kitchen aid? what's the mouse story - sounds like a good blog post!
I bought my KitchenAid off Amazon, so be heartened. There will be another sale! :o)
Post a Comment
<< Home