Dick and Jane

Reilly Kate has been learning to read. We've had a recent language explosion with her reading and writing and grasping the whole concept of words and their uses (besides verbal uses which she grasped before her first birthday). As a result of this new found literary interest, we've been reading some of the Dick and Jane books my mom sent.

I don't know who the hell wrote this shite, but he's either dead by now, rotting in Sing Sing, or is stalking virgins in internet chat rooms. Allow me, if you will, to "read" you just a small excerpt:

Oh, oh, oh. Come. Come, Sally. Come, come. Oh, Sally. Come, come. Come, Sally, come.

A few pages later, it reads:

Oh, Sally. See Jane go down. Down, down, down. See Jane go down.

And if that isn't enough, apparently, the whole thing is a family affair:

Jane said, "Oh, Dick. See Sally and Tim. Oh, oh, oh. See Baby Sally go. Go, Dick, go."
Sally said, "Oh, Mother. See Dick go down. See Jane go down. Funny, funny Dick and Jane."

Dick and Jane. Perverts. I know what dick is. And now I guess I know what jane is. Really. Why not just give the kid a subscription to Hustler and be done with it.

Whatever happened to Dr. Seuss and Hop on Pop?