The Day After
In light of yesterday's Mama Mobile mishap, I'm in a pretty pissed off mood. So pissed off, in fact, that I've eaten three chocolate flaxseed muffins, a huge mess of ricotta creme, the toppings off a pepperoni pizza, two cups of tea, and a Diet Rite. Just since ten o'clock. It is, by the way, only 10:20. When I publish this post I'm going back into the kitchen to cook up a whole family sized bag of broccoli with cheddar cheese. I'm trying to watch my weight, remember?
What really burns me is that it was NOT my fault. Now, given my crash record... errr... track record, I can understand you disbelievers out there. But it really wasn't my fault. So why did it have to happen while I was driving the bus? As the Germans would say, I am the dumb luck bird. There is a gray cloud that hovers over me at all times. Glad I wear waterproof mascara. If you stand close, you might want to bring an umbrella. And some rubbers. The kind that go on your feet, you gutter dweller.
If you've read the second comment on this post here, then you know that one my many nicknames in the family circle is "Crash." Let me just make the announcement now, to all those within and without of that circle, that there will be no rehashing of Seoul Crash Part I (yes, I am certain there will be sequels to come). It was not my fault and I will not allow it to taint family lore or tradition. If you defy my wishes, I promise I will send out a virus your way. Not any wimpy ass computer virus, either. No, no. I'm in Asia, the birthplace of the flu. I'll sneeze on a ten dollar bill, stick that sucker in a card, and mail it off to ya. So refrain! You've been warned.
The good news, if you want to call it that... Actually, it is more like the news that doesn't totally suck... Okay, okay. The news that doesn't make me want to fling myself off the top floor of our apartment building is it should only take a week or so to fix the van. They initially said 3-4 days, but that changed since they discovered the need to order parts from overseas (that would be the US of A for us here). That combined with the fact that I haven't been struck by lightening or eaten by a shark today makes it a pretty good day in my book.
Huh. Ya know, I'd give my left tit (the larger and more prolific of the two) for a bag of macadamia nuts right now. Any takers?
What really burns me is that it was NOT my fault. Now, given my crash record... errr... track record, I can understand you disbelievers out there. But it really wasn't my fault. So why did it have to happen while I was driving the bus? As the Germans would say, I am the dumb luck bird. There is a gray cloud that hovers over me at all times. Glad I wear waterproof mascara. If you stand close, you might want to bring an umbrella. And some rubbers. The kind that go on your feet, you gutter dweller.
If you've read the second comment on this post here, then you know that one my many nicknames in the family circle is "Crash." Let me just make the announcement now, to all those within and without of that circle, that there will be no rehashing of Seoul Crash Part I (yes, I am certain there will be sequels to come). It was not my fault and I will not allow it to taint family lore or tradition. If you defy my wishes, I promise I will send out a virus your way. Not any wimpy ass computer virus, either. No, no. I'm in Asia, the birthplace of the flu. I'll sneeze on a ten dollar bill, stick that sucker in a card, and mail it off to ya. So refrain! You've been warned.
The good news, if you want to call it that... Actually, it is more like the news that doesn't totally suck... Okay, okay. The news that doesn't make me want to fling myself off the top floor of our apartment building is it should only take a week or so to fix the van. They initially said 3-4 days, but that changed since they discovered the need to order parts from overseas (that would be the US of A for us here). That combined with the fact that I haven't been struck by lightening or eaten by a shark today makes it a pretty good day in my book.
Huh. Ya know, I'd give my left tit (the larger and more prolific of the two) for a bag of macadamia nuts right now. Any takers?
posted by The Histrionics of a Fat Housewife at 8:09 AM
2 Comments:
If I bring macademia nuts will you go out for a steak with me at 3 Alley tonight? Btw, can you pick me up some macademia nuts at the PX so I can give them to you? I got into an accident long ago on the first day of my new job at a Ford dealership in Calgary. I too had the nickname of Crash after that. At least you weren't driving a brand new car. Call me Crash. Call me, Crash.
okay okay if we can't call you crash can we call you George then???? (George George George of the jungle watch out for that.....) ;)
Thank god the kids weren't with you and of course that nobody was hurt other than your MOMMA MOBILE!
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