Hiatus Over

I have been informed by some of my most loyal readers that I am missed. A couple of said readers have also informed me that by their watch my hiatus is over. I think I actually might have hit the snooze button a couple of times, too. So I'm back now. I will try to update this puppy once a week, on Sundays, for the time being. I'm taking the kids to Chicago for a couple of weeks. After that, I will try to blog more often.

I really am not even in the proper mood tonight to be typing up a post-hiatus, season premiere, but I made a deal with my friend Michelle at Modern Motherhood and she lived up to her end of the bargain. So here I sit at 11pm with nothing to write about except the tragedy that befell my ears today, spoiled my weekend, and ruined my mood.

You see, I lost an earring some time in the last 24 hours.

Not just any earring, either. My beautiful, gold, diamond studded plumerias that Mike gave me as a Mother's Day gift a couple of years ago. Well, I shouldn't say "plumerias," plural. It was "plumeria." I never lose both earrings. It is always just one. I have done it repeatedly, time and time again since I was about 6 years old.

I just cannot seem to hold on to TWO earrings. There have been so many pairs, split up by my carelessness. Hell, I shouldn't call it carelessness. I don't really do anything to lose the one. I don't even take my earrings out except to clean them and then I put them straight back in. It's not like I'm Dumbo, flapping my ears and flying around. My ears don't move. They sit perfectly still on the side of my head, modeling gorgeous golden earrings.

So how the hell is it that I lose them... er... one? I don't get it. Does one just up and decide to fly the coup? Perhaps if I let my ears move around a bit, the earrings would stay put and happy.

And what the hell am I supposed to do with all these damn left over earrings? I actually have an envelope with all my left behind, matchless, partnerless, sad, and lonely earrings. If I ever lose an ear, I'll be set.

I've actually thought about piercing my nose just to have some place to put these singletons. Alas, I fear sneezing with a stud in my nose so it just wouldn't work. I'd try to stifle my sneezes and probably wind up snorting the earring right into my sinus. How'd I explain that to an ER doc? Plus, I'm not so sure that one's nose, so prominently displayed on the center of one's face, should act as a lost and found bulletin. Besides, Roman would pull that sucker out faster than you can say "nathni" (Hindu for "nose ring").

I wonder if that is where my earring wound up. In Roman. I guess I'll be checking poop for a few days.

And if anyone has any ideas for my lonely earrings, please let me know.