Playdates, parties, and pedophilia
If you've read the last few posts, then you know that I just don't seem to fit in with the other moms. I actually had a couple of friends here in Seoul for a brief time. They all moved over the summer, though, and the kids and I have been basically on our own since. Sure, I have friends from when I lived here before, but most are single men with drinking problems ("Hey, there's no problem! I drink to get drunk. If I succeed, then no problem!") who really don't do playdate ("Oh, but I'd do playMATES!") and would rather I not talk about the yeast infection I have under my saggy boobs.
The sad result is that my kids have no friends, either. At this young age, a mother's social skills are directly responsible for her children's social circle and calendar. Our circle and calendar are woefully empty. In this I am an utter failure. At least my married housekeeper has recently taken an... ahem... interest in a guy who lives nearby with his children. According to Reilly Kate, they spent a whole day hanging out with him and his kids at their house. At first, I found this disturbing until I realized that this is the only playdate my kids have had since June. So what's a little bending of the 7th commandment if my kids make some friends in the deal and I still have every Tuesday afternoon free to get my weekly manicure and pedicure?
Actually, I lied. We have had one playdate since June. Another mom invited us to join a group of preschoolers at playground one afternoon. She said they always bring snacks and play for a few hours. I packed our snacks and set off to the playdate with two kids quite over the moon at the prospect of actually playing with kids that weren't siblings or otherwise blood related. We arrived ten minutes fashionably late to a completely empty playground where we stayed for 45 minutes in the hopes that they, that anyone actually, would show up. Finally, we walked over to another playground and found them all there. Ooops. Forgot to tell ya that we changed the meeting place. About a half hour after our arrival everyone left. But my kids did get that half hour! God dammit.
Don't suggest that I join the local MOMS club or what acts as that here anyway. There's an organized playgroup here that is similar to MOMS. They have a Yahoo group thingy to which one must apply for membership. Then you get to find out when they meet and what they're doing and all that jazz. So I applied. And was turned down. All decisions are final, said the email I was sent. Sight unseen I was rejected. Alas, the playgroup here is out.
Add all this to the fact that Roman's birthday is coming up in just one month and what I have is enough angst to cause a case of middle aged ulcers coupled with teenaged acne. Who the hell am I going to invite? I've thought about handing out invites at the playground on base, but I tried that a few years ago with limited success. Out of 50 flyers, we only got 4 families to show up. And the flyers specifically stated to please just show up with NO obligation of a gift so it wasn't frugality keeping the masses at bay. It's my stellar personality.
So 'round and 'round I've been going with the birthday dilemma. Honestly, though, I just couldn't think of any sure bets to invite. And then... a bit of manna floated down to me from heaven on Friday afternoon. I showed up to pick up Reilly Kate and the moms were all a-twitter with the news they read on page three of the Stars and Stripes. It seems we have a registered sex offender in our midst. Our very own preschool drop off dad, in fact. Hell, he and Mike struck up a conversation last Sunday before mass started as our kids played around in the grass in front of the chapel. ("I knew I got a creepy vibe off him," says Mike in hindsight. Uh huh. Yeah. Right.) His son is in Reilly Kate's class and attends Religious Education classes with many of the other preschoolers (RK is in the kindergarten class). His wife sings in the choir and is an active duty major. He's daddy daycare to their four kids.
And he's a sexual predator.
If you didn't click the link to the story, let me briefly explain. It seems he was killing time online one day and came across a 15 year old girl. They started talking dirty and he asked to meet her at a local mall (coincidentally enough, a mall in suburban Chicago). Dumbass brings his three kids (they only had three at the time -- apparently the wife's still sleeping with him which just grosses me out) to meet her and is subsequently arrested by the dirty talking police who pretended to be a 15 year old girl. Guilty guilty guilty. For the rest of his life, he must notify his neighbors of his misdeeds. Unless he lives on a military installation overseas. Then we just read about it in the Stars and Stripes.
Anyway, you are probably wondering what the hell this has to do with Roman's birthday and how having a sexual deviant in our midst is somehow a blessing to me and my kids. I'm getting there.
The man has four kids. Do you think they're getting a lot of playdates now that this is splashed all over the news? How many moms do you think are inviting them over or meeting them at the playground? I'm betting that a posse, complete with torches and nooses and tools of castration, runs them out of the country by Christmas. And really, if my daughter were 14 instead of four I'd be more concerned. But she's just four and while I'm creeped out by the whole thing and would really like to tie his balls in a knot, dip them in Dave's Insanity Sauce, and hand him a blade, I don't think his kids should be punished for the actions of their father. And I don't think he's a danger to my kids. That isn't to say he is safe to have on base here. I'm just saying I'm not worried.
No, I'm going to sleep well tonight knowing that I've got four whole kids coming to Roman's birthday party and I haven't even invited them yet. Finally, I've found someone to hang out with. Even if he is a perv.
The sad result is that my kids have no friends, either. At this young age, a mother's social skills are directly responsible for her children's social circle and calendar. Our circle and calendar are woefully empty. In this I am an utter failure. At least my married housekeeper has recently taken an... ahem... interest in a guy who lives nearby with his children. According to Reilly Kate, they spent a whole day hanging out with him and his kids at their house. At first, I found this disturbing until I realized that this is the only playdate my kids have had since June. So what's a little bending of the 7th commandment if my kids make some friends in the deal and I still have every Tuesday afternoon free to get my weekly manicure and pedicure?
Actually, I lied. We have had one playdate since June. Another mom invited us to join a group of preschoolers at playground one afternoon. She said they always bring snacks and play for a few hours. I packed our snacks and set off to the playdate with two kids quite over the moon at the prospect of actually playing with kids that weren't siblings or otherwise blood related. We arrived ten minutes fashionably late to a completely empty playground where we stayed for 45 minutes in the hopes that they, that anyone actually, would show up. Finally, we walked over to another playground and found them all there. Ooops. Forgot to tell ya that we changed the meeting place. About a half hour after our arrival everyone left. But my kids did get that half hour! God dammit.
Don't suggest that I join the local MOMS club or what acts as that here anyway. There's an organized playgroup here that is similar to MOMS. They have a Yahoo group thingy to which one must apply for membership. Then you get to find out when they meet and what they're doing and all that jazz. So I applied. And was turned down. All decisions are final, said the email I was sent. Sight unseen I was rejected. Alas, the playgroup here is out.
Add all this to the fact that Roman's birthday is coming up in just one month and what I have is enough angst to cause a case of middle aged ulcers coupled with teenaged acne. Who the hell am I going to invite? I've thought about handing out invites at the playground on base, but I tried that a few years ago with limited success. Out of 50 flyers, we only got 4 families to show up. And the flyers specifically stated to please just show up with NO obligation of a gift so it wasn't frugality keeping the masses at bay. It's my stellar personality.
So 'round and 'round I've been going with the birthday dilemma. Honestly, though, I just couldn't think of any sure bets to invite. And then... a bit of manna floated down to me from heaven on Friday afternoon. I showed up to pick up Reilly Kate and the moms were all a-twitter with the news they read on page three of the Stars and Stripes. It seems we have a registered sex offender in our midst. Our very own preschool drop off dad, in fact. Hell, he and Mike struck up a conversation last Sunday before mass started as our kids played around in the grass in front of the chapel. ("I knew I got a creepy vibe off him," says Mike in hindsight. Uh huh. Yeah. Right.) His son is in Reilly Kate's class and attends Religious Education classes with many of the other preschoolers (RK is in the kindergarten class). His wife sings in the choir and is an active duty major. He's daddy daycare to their four kids.
And he's a sexual predator.
If you didn't click the link to the story, let me briefly explain. It seems he was killing time online one day and came across a 15 year old girl. They started talking dirty and he asked to meet her at a local mall (coincidentally enough, a mall in suburban Chicago). Dumbass brings his three kids (they only had three at the time -- apparently the wife's still sleeping with him which just grosses me out) to meet her and is subsequently arrested by the dirty talking police who pretended to be a 15 year old girl. Guilty guilty guilty. For the rest of his life, he must notify his neighbors of his misdeeds. Unless he lives on a military installation overseas. Then we just read about it in the Stars and Stripes.
Anyway, you are probably wondering what the hell this has to do with Roman's birthday and how having a sexual deviant in our midst is somehow a blessing to me and my kids. I'm getting there.
The man has four kids. Do you think they're getting a lot of playdates now that this is splashed all over the news? How many moms do you think are inviting them over or meeting them at the playground? I'm betting that a posse, complete with torches and nooses and tools of castration, runs them out of the country by Christmas. And really, if my daughter were 14 instead of four I'd be more concerned. But she's just four and while I'm creeped out by the whole thing and would really like to tie his balls in a knot, dip them in Dave's Insanity Sauce, and hand him a blade, I don't think his kids should be punished for the actions of their father. And I don't think he's a danger to my kids. That isn't to say he is safe to have on base here. I'm just saying I'm not worried.
No, I'm going to sleep well tonight knowing that I've got four whole kids coming to Roman's birthday party and I haven't even invited them yet. Finally, I've found someone to hang out with. Even if he is a perv.
posted by The Histrionics of a Fat Housewife at 11:25 PM
4 Comments:
I'm sure it will be fine with your eagle eye on him the entire time. I guess ya' gotta' do what ya' gotta' do to help your kids' social skills thrive.
I haven't gotten to that point yet but I'm sure I will.
Why IS IT so fucking hard to make mom friends? We had no one at Viv's birthday. She went to a amusement park, which made up for it though...
ughhh give RK the yoni vs stranger talk, you know she'll blab if anyone even dares come near her... as far as Roman, he's the birthday boy.. all eyes will be on him most of the day... and as far as him being a perv, what's wrong with that? j/k ;)
Yeah, that's the one time he got caught....no telling how many other times he chatted up some young girl online, met up with her and got away with it. Blech.
That being said....I don't believe the kids should be punished for the sins of the father, so good for you for inviting them to Roman's party. It will be a great time, I'm sure. I would just never let the kids play over at his house unattended. Playdates can happen, but only if he drops his (age appropriate) kids at your house, right?
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