You Can Stop Squinting

Ah, yes. So much better. Why didn't any of you tell me that the black background sucked? I had no idea. Not until we bought a new and improved, high speed, flat screen monitor. I don't know what started it, but Mike got a bug up his arse about our two year old (and perfectly functional) computer and had to shop around till he shat the bug out and came home with boxes of high tech goodies. Now we've got a new monitor and new computer and a whole new set of problems. Not the least of which was the fact I couldn't read my own damn blog! Why? Why can't we just leave well enough alone and use the damn computer we have? Why an upgrade? Why? Hell, if it were up to me I'd have my old Olivetti electronic typewriter hooked up the internet with a corded phone and acoustic coupler. Remember when Matthew Broderick was the coolest cat you ever saw with all his techie geekware in War Games? I loved that movie.

So anyway, we got this new monitor like a week ago. Immediately, I saw something wrong. Actually, I couldn't see and that is what was wrong. I mean, one day things are fine and dandy, hunky dory. La la la la la. The next, blurry blog. I really thought that something had happened to my eye sight. Just like that. Cataracts or something. After all, I am getting older. I'm almost certain I'm going through menopause already so it is quite possible I have cataracts, too. I googled and, in addition to the possibility of cataracts, it could also be severe glaucoma. Huh. I could start smoking pot again! But I didn't have the pain they described. I do however, have a lingering sore throat. I added that to my google search. Up popped an eclectic array of ailments, stroke being one. Well, I have been putting on the pounds as of late. So I added that to my google search. By this time, all that was coming up were descriptions of side effects of some crazy ass drugs. Unless somebody is slipping me some of that HIV drug cocktail in my Diet Coke, it is doubtful I'm suffering from Rx side effects.

Tonight, I decided to change the blog background and see if that helped. Mike saw me working and asked what I was doing. When I told him, he said, "Oh, good. That black sucked. I could hardly read it with our new monitor."

Argh! The damn new monitor! I wanted to pick up the old, 30 pound monitor and throw it at him, but I thought I might stress my back out or something. I'm getting up there in years and need to take certain precautions. But if I had hurt myself, it would have been the fault of this stupid ass new computer and the accompanying inch and a half thick, feather weight monitor. Now I'm stuck with the granny panties of blogs -- plain old white. Blech. At least I can read it again. I hope you can, too.

And now, I'm off to go google ADD (attention deficit disorder) as I am convinced I must suffer from a severe form of it. It's either that or I'm deathly allergic to finishing things.