I'm Going Bape
Last week I was reading another mom's blog and she was lamenting her lost hipness. She said before she had a baby she knew the trendiest places to see and be seen and all that jazz (if jazz is even hip, I don't know). It made my day. There was something positive to being a total geek.
You see, I've never been hip. I've never been cool. I've never been part of a trend until it was no longer trendy. I thought mullets were cool... in the '90s! That is how uncool I am. I really hardly had any friends in junior high or high school and those friends I did have, well, they too weren't cool. I had a cool boyfriend who had cool friends, but they all knew I wasn't cool. I was hot. That's the only reason I had a cool boyfriend.
But anyway, having children didn't take away my hip factor. And for that I can rejoice. Much like I cannot miss having a flat stomach or perky breasts because I didn't have them before kids, I don't miss being an IT girl, either. Sure there are plenty of things that having kids has stripped me of (a waist for starters, the ability to think clearly and finish sentences, privacy while defecating, things like that), but trendsetting is not one of them.
It would seem that Mike, too, is not a hip, trendy kind of guy. In fact, he actually sported the mullet I thought was so cool in the '90s. Yep. Permed. A permed mullet. And we really thought he was too cool for school. Oh, don't tell him this, though. He really does think he's cool and hip. He knows the names of all the current top 40s bands and he still professes a deep love for U2 (are they still cutting edge? I don't even know). It'll burst his bubble to know that he is just as uncool as I am.
But! I have PROOF!
You see, a few posts down from here was a quote Mike had seen on a tshirt worn by a woman on the subway. It said, "Bathing Ape said, "Go Bape." Oh, he laughed and laughed and laughed at that one. As did I. Here we thought those silly Koreans putting silly English sayings on their shirts (which in our defense, they really do do that). Yes, we laughed ourselves delirious for at least a week or more over that. I think I even lost a little bladder control once during an ongoing giggle giggle snort fest. We even would say goodbye on the phone to one another with, "Go Babe!" Oh, we just thought we were high comedians.
Until I stumbled upon this article all about the mega trend out of Japan -- Going Bape. It seems that Nigo is the Japanese mastermind behind Bape, which is actually pronounced BAY-PEE. Huh. Who'd a thunk. This Nigo fellow is like a Japanese Tommy Hilfiger, but much more underground. If I am correct, underground is like uber trendy -- as in so trendy only the trendiest of trendsetters know it's trendy and the rest of us pukes can just wear Kathy Lee Gifford or some such shite. And once the common pukes know about that which is underground, it is no longer underground and cool so the cool people don't wear it.
The genius that is Nigo is that he has kept his Bape underground for like ten years. Yep. That's some kind of hip hipster underground uber cool record. Get this. He kept the clothes a secret by hiding, yes, HIDING, his store! And the few that were cool enough to find his store were only allowed to purchase ONE monkey wear item. And it had to be in a size deemed appropriate by the store. Sounds like one hell of a marketing approach,there, Nigo. Even crazier than his marketing scheme, however, is the fact that it worked!
Oh, yes, yes, my fellow geeksters. Bape works. And has made our hero Nigo rich rich rich. Do an eBay search... No, wait. I'll do it for you. Here. Now, look at all Bape stuff and how much it is going for. Take a look at that purple hoodie monstrosity! 2,100 bucks for an ugly ass purple camouflage hoodie with a teeny weeny tag of a freakin' ape head? I swear, I should start selling stained Chinese prefolds stitched together to make long bohemian flowing skirts... for men! Slap an ape head on the ass and call it Bape! I too could be rich rich rich!
I don't know. Maybe I'm too old for this. I know I've never been cool enough to actually be trendy. But at one time, I wanted to be trendy and hip. Now I just find it kind of buffoonish. Really. I mean, I actually like Target. I think Isaac Mizrahi is a fashion king. Good looking clothes for under 20 bucks? Fucking brilliant! I don't need to be spending huge sums of my husband's hard earned money on stupid monkey gear. Okay. So I do own and love True Religion jeans. I'm quite sure just by my owning them, they are no longer cool and hip and trendy. Ah, but they do make my ass look... well... quite... ummm... fuckable. Yes. And for that, I will pay any price. Afterall, motherhood caused my ass to droop. I swear, it did.
Hmmmm...
I just went back and looked at that hoodie. You think that it might perk my boobs up a bit? I was just looking at that crazy pattern and thinking that it might make my boobs look lifted and maybe separated. Like a boob job in a hoodie. I'm going to watch that auction. Just to see. I'm not really going to go Bape. I'm just thinking. Really. I am.
You see, I've never been hip. I've never been cool. I've never been part of a trend until it was no longer trendy. I thought mullets were cool... in the '90s! That is how uncool I am. I really hardly had any friends in junior high or high school and those friends I did have, well, they too weren't cool. I had a cool boyfriend who had cool friends, but they all knew I wasn't cool. I was hot. That's the only reason I had a cool boyfriend.
But anyway, having children didn't take away my hip factor. And for that I can rejoice. Much like I cannot miss having a flat stomach or perky breasts because I didn't have them before kids, I don't miss being an IT girl, either. Sure there are plenty of things that having kids has stripped me of (a waist for starters, the ability to think clearly and finish sentences, privacy while defecating, things like that), but trendsetting is not one of them.
It would seem that Mike, too, is not a hip, trendy kind of guy. In fact, he actually sported the mullet I thought was so cool in the '90s. Yep. Permed. A permed mullet. And we really thought he was too cool for school. Oh, don't tell him this, though. He really does think he's cool and hip. He knows the names of all the current top 40s bands and he still professes a deep love for U2 (are they still cutting edge? I don't even know). It'll burst his bubble to know that he is just as uncool as I am.
But! I have PROOF!
You see, a few posts down from here was a quote Mike had seen on a tshirt worn by a woman on the subway. It said, "Bathing Ape said, "Go Bape." Oh, he laughed and laughed and laughed at that one. As did I. Here we thought those silly Koreans putting silly English sayings on their shirts (which in our defense, they really do do that). Yes, we laughed ourselves delirious for at least a week or more over that. I think I even lost a little bladder control once during an ongoing giggle giggle snort fest. We even would say goodbye on the phone to one another with, "Go Babe!" Oh, we just thought we were high comedians.
Until I stumbled upon this article all about the mega trend out of Japan -- Going Bape. It seems that Nigo is the Japanese mastermind behind Bape, which is actually pronounced BAY-PEE. Huh. Who'd a thunk. This Nigo fellow is like a Japanese Tommy Hilfiger, but much more underground. If I am correct, underground is like uber trendy -- as in so trendy only the trendiest of trendsetters know it's trendy and the rest of us pukes can just wear Kathy Lee Gifford or some such shite. And once the common pukes know about that which is underground, it is no longer underground and cool so the cool people don't wear it.
The genius that is Nigo is that he has kept his Bape underground for like ten years. Yep. That's some kind of hip hipster underground uber cool record. Get this. He kept the clothes a secret by hiding, yes, HIDING, his store! And the few that were cool enough to find his store were only allowed to purchase ONE monkey wear item. And it had to be in a size deemed appropriate by the store. Sounds like one hell of a marketing approach,there, Nigo. Even crazier than his marketing scheme, however, is the fact that it worked!
Oh, yes, yes, my fellow geeksters. Bape works. And has made our hero Nigo rich rich rich. Do an eBay search... No, wait. I'll do it for you. Here. Now, look at all Bape stuff and how much it is going for. Take a look at that purple hoodie monstrosity! 2,100 bucks for an ugly ass purple camouflage hoodie with a teeny weeny tag of a freakin' ape head? I swear, I should start selling stained Chinese prefolds stitched together to make long bohemian flowing skirts... for men! Slap an ape head on the ass and call it Bape! I too could be rich rich rich!
I don't know. Maybe I'm too old for this. I know I've never been cool enough to actually be trendy. But at one time, I wanted to be trendy and hip. Now I just find it kind of buffoonish. Really. I mean, I actually like Target. I think Isaac Mizrahi is a fashion king. Good looking clothes for under 20 bucks? Fucking brilliant! I don't need to be spending huge sums of my husband's hard earned money on stupid monkey gear. Okay. So I do own and love True Religion jeans. I'm quite sure just by my owning them, they are no longer cool and hip and trendy. Ah, but they do make my ass look... well... quite... ummm... fuckable. Yes. And for that, I will pay any price. Afterall, motherhood caused my ass to droop. I swear, it did.
Hmmmm...
I just went back and looked at that hoodie. You think that it might perk my boobs up a bit? I was just looking at that crazy pattern and thinking that it might make my boobs look lifted and maybe separated. Like a boob job in a hoodie. I'm going to watch that auction. Just to see. I'm not really going to go Bape. I'm just thinking. Really. I am.
posted by The Histrionics of a Fat Housewife at 5:59 AM
1 Comments:
Okay that sweatshirt is totally hideous! sorry, I wouldn't pay that price for that!
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